©2019 Ashlyne Bowman
Ashlyne x Lucia
Make the Dark Souls: Collaboration of Lucia's poems and Ashlyne's photographs. Hover over images to view the full poem.
LG ; MEDICATION I
I float on thin air.I am trapped in a heaven of blue ice,lightweight, hazy.
I float on thin air becoming a witness,I can’t come down and exist anymore,I never wanted this, you know, I never wanted it like this.
I’m a kite of bones frozen in spot,quiet, tense, exhausted,it’s never been so hard to move, it’s never been so hard gather my thoughts.I am only air and I hate myself now beyond repair.
I just dream of sleeping,I don’t dream when I sleep;I hallucinate with lives I want and moments I miss.
I float on thin air, a corpse imprisoned in blue ice,there is no oxygenno touchno words.
I can’t come downI can’t come downThe static around me won’t let you hear me screamingI can’t come downI’m fadingup hereI come undone.
LG ; THEORY OF COLOR II
I once wrote I saw you blue-among a hundred other colors- and wondered if it was because you were sad or because you were peaceful.As I’ve gotten to know you, I still see you blue, and foundblue is indeed for sadness.
I can’t say I’m surprised, harsh as it sounds. Peace is elusive to the intense, peace is the opposite to your electricity.
Blue is for sadness, a special kind of sadness -lonely, hollow, numb, misunderstood, lost sadness,And I’m sorry, I really wish you weren’t going through it,-I really wish I didn’t understand exactly how you feel.
Blue, though, in you, makes me think of something else too. A sea breeze, perhaps, and that’s for freedom;
Blue… Deep, intense, indigo blue,The sky at night. And that’s for magic.
LG ; TO TEAR APART - 3: THE SEA
The sea welcomed me in its embrace -as soon as it saw me. The sea licked with salt all the wounds you/he opened - and made them sting, and made them begin to heal. The sea heard my screams of despair and anger -and matched them with its waves.The sea let me cry -then made my tears a part of its own.The sea saw your/his name on my footsteps in the sand -and washed them away, washed it all away.
Strange works of the soul - Side B: That
I can’t feel myself,All I feel when I touch my skin is Coats of hands and bodies that Don’t belong to me.
Thick, strange, out of place,Yet… seemingly stuck on me forever.
And I panic, and I panic, and I panic,Because all I want to do is feel my own skin and be with my own beingAnd I can’tGetPastThose layers of unwelcomed traces.
Truth is I don’t know what it is (yet)
Someone realized I fell for you.I couldn’t deny it when it was mentioned,because in all matters concerning you, I can’t lie, I am bare, I am true. I confessed silentlyand it was never spoken of again.
Someone kissed you in front of me one late night.I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t escape it, so I stood there frozen in spot watching, wondering,secretly desiring.
One day everyone will know, everyone will see.And it will be bittersweetbecause I’m in a limbo,in which I want you as my hidden fire and I wish to scream your name to all the winds.
In which I want to risk myself for a taste of youAnd remain quiet and safe in the shadows, watching you be.
In which I don’t think you mean much some days,yet I think about you everyday.
LG ; SA EXTRACT - SMOKE TALKS
Never in my life did I think it was possible tomiss someone that much having them right in front of me.
You always set the rendez-vous and never learnt to leave on time since with her anything short of eternal was not enough.